I’m slowly easing into being a “Mom and….” I intentionally didn’t use the words easing back into, because as I’ve read in many other places I fully understand that there is no “back”, who I am now is moving forward. Once you’ve become a Mom you are an evolved, new version of yourself.
As with every stage, I’ve been careful to pay close attention to the important learnings that life has brought me. Even among all of the very tactical and practical daily lessons that parenthood teaches, there are some bigger and broader lessons I’ve learned. As I reflect on the lessons I jotted down in my time on leave, five learnings rise to the surface and stand out to me. Five things that I’ve learned on maternity leave that feel incredibly relevant as I return to work life too.
1. We must work on the skills we want.
Our family was at the pediatrician for a check-up and the doctor showed us how to help our daughter work on sitting up right. How to hold her at the waist which gives her support and safety, but allows her to challenge her balance and take control of her upper body. It in some small way blew my mind, how I hadn’t even tried to see if she could do this yet. I was saying to myself “she’s too little or young for that, that will come later”, and I quickly shifted my stance. How will we ever obtain the skills we want if we don’t work on them? It’s a simple lesson taught in the simplest of ways, if you want to eventually be able to sit up on your own, you have to practice doing so. And so, don’t label yourself and your business as too little or too young. If you want for a certain type of work or business skill, work very specifically and intentionally at it.
2. The intake is important.
The amount of time you interface with physicians and clinicians in your postpartum period is quite incredible. Between appointments for me and my daughter in the way of physical treatment and mental support, I’ve filled out every type of form, quite literally checked a lot of boxes and watched many doctors handle the intake process. These experiences reminded me how important the intake process is and how much it can impact your credibility with your client. The intake while administratively necessary is also often your official introduction and first impression. Listen, make eye contact, learn about your client and THEN let them learn about you and how you can help. It’s like that old saying, “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
3. It won’t be forever, that’s the rejoice and regret of it all.
I already find myself looking back on previous weeks and months, smiling at how we’ve grown. Laughing at how nervous and particular I was about certain changes. Meticulous measuring, care and observation about each and every detail. We’ve already moved on. Moved on from certain phases and accompanying nerves. The reflection has me reminding myself that what we’re going through right now won’t be forever. For some of that I jubilantly look forward in rejoice and others I’m trying to savor as I comprehend how much I’ll actually miss it. And this is true for work too. The lack or surplus of a certain resource, the current project, the slow acclimation to a new relationship, it won’t be like this forever just accept it and be present for it.
4. It’s okay to share your minimum viable product.
Vision is a great and grand tool, but it can also be debilitating in setting you up with unrealistic expectations. The fall from great expectations is a long drop and the landing can be ugly and hard. I’ve said countless times that parenting has been a lot about adjusting my vision and lessening my expectations and those are not intended to be negative characteristics, they just are. From your daily agenda to your bigger year goals, you may have to accept that it doesn’t all look like you thought it did. A minimum viable product is the most bare-bones solution that can still be used by the public and early adopters. I’ve gone to the grocery store, a meeting and been a full-time Mom all in the same outfit that may have been questionably presentable. I’ve boarded a flight exactly 11 minutes before it departed with fast food in my backpack and a pacifier that a TSA agent so kindly wiped off on his pants after it hit the ground. The point…..I showed up. I made it. It may not all look like you think it does, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen.
5. No one can maximize time like a Mom.
A note to HR, HIRE MORE MOMS. It’s estimated that the average adult makes 35,000 decisions a day. And that’s not accounting for Moms and the numerous decisions they are making for their child in addition to themselves. While I worry about a few skills that I may need to sharpen from my time away from work, I know that I refined and enhanced my efficiency and time-management skills in a way that only early motherhood can. The ability to order operations to make the most of “free” time during a short 35-minute nap is 100% a transferrable skill that makes a Mom a most desirable hire.
I’ll leave you with an unexpected note I received this morning. It’s very relevant to me as a Mom, as a business owner and as a student of life. Remember how far you’ve come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be.